Fridays are just popping up left and right

Fri Mar 18, 2005 

Greetings, It seems another Friday has found us and it’s been an eventful week here in our little corner of the workers paradise.
The terrorist acts have continued unabated and spread to include acts against the beloved leader. Rest assured the guilty parties will be found and punished for crimes against the people the state and humanity in general.
Information is already in our possession implicating the feline in the aforementioned acts. The entire population of the workers paradise is eagerly awaiting the trial of the feline on charges of sedition, treason, crimes against the state, crimes against the people, crimes against humanity, and finally crimes against stereo equipment namely destruction of headphone wires. This is the felines second offense in these areas and the canine community is abuzz with speculation regarding the sentence to be meted out upon the feline. Rumor has it that surgical alteration will be involved.
The official beautification program has begun in earnest this week. The canines are all highly involved in the outdoors project (much to their dismay I might add). While the canines have been offered many opportunities to excel in this area I am still less than pleased with their performance. I have instructed the secret police/death squads to investigate the possibility of union organization in their midst. While the thought of the canines actually organizing anything is preposterous they are still not performing their beautification duties nearly as well as they could. Also what’s the point of even having secret police/death squads if you don’t send them out to do something? Its very dangerous having them idle, busy secret police/death squads are happy secret police/death squads I always say, and happy secret police/death squads seldom turn on their beloved leader.
No new news on the political prisoner front. We are still awaiting transportation to the gulags. Once the transportation is provided there will be a new update.
Unknown individuals ransacked a local paper production facility last night. We are not sure the purpose of this attack as no one has claimed responsibility. I suspect it might have something to do with the holiday yesterday. I have my investigators working on it even as we speak but I suspect it is simply hooliganism stemming from the quaint Irish custom of wearing green and drinking too much after eating corned beef and cabbage that’s been boiled past redemption. Plans are being put into affect to increase security at these locations to prevent a reoccurrence.
That’s the weekly update on the state of affairs in our workers paradise. I would love to stay and chat...but I have aspirations to crush, dreams to trample and hopes to toy with mercilessly. Until next week I remain the peoples servant, benevolent leader and president for life.