Its Friday....Again

Fri Jul 15, 2005

Greetings friends, just a little note this time as time is tight right now. Things for the Benevolent leader/Dictator for life to be doing and sitting here typing just isn't one of them right now.

It seems the neighboring country has imported a Mini-Canine and he has made contact thru the security fences with our canines. Many messages have been sent back and forth since the Mini-Canine is quite young I am concerned that our Canines will corrupt the poor lad. I've called all three of the canine in for conferences and reminded them that it is an offense to import/export sedition or any other "dangerous" ideas. I hope they will take that to heart. I have also instructed the secret police/death squads to pay close attention to any interaction between them. On the upside at least it seems to have gotten the Canine partially out of the doldrums or the "dog days of summer" hehe.(A little benevolent leader/dictator for life humor there...you WILL laugh or pay the consequences.)

The Feline has continued his terrorist attacks on the Canines or at least one of the Canines. The feline it seems has discovered the one pacifist Canine in the group and is attacking her at all hours with seeming impunity. I have counseled the aforementioned Canine that all she need do is bite the Feline one good bite and he would leave her alone as the feline is actually rather cowardly in nature.

The Feline has also fallen back into some very risky behaviors and was seen chewing on cables again. Luckily for him he hasn't destroyed anything yet. I have informed the Feline that the new punishment law that went into effect last month calls for the strictest of penalties for such behavior. The new law was named after one of the great lawgivers of the ancient world. I call it the "Draconian amendment to the law of Feline death for chewing my headphone cables one more damn time" I think it has a nice ring to it....Don't you? I doubt if the Feline has the wit to see the historical allusions but one can hope.

This law was also joined by the squirt gun of you have pissed me off for the last time today. Which I think is a wonderful tool for Feline control should the Squirt gun of you have pissed me off for the last time today prove ineffective I plan on adding the Paintball gun of I really mean it...DAMMIT to the arsenal. If neither of those work I will be sorely tempted to get the 12 gauge of That's the last straw you little *&#@!*. But I'm hoping to avoid actual firearms as they are smelly and leave GSR when fired.

Oh well enough for today. I am signing off and wishing you all a gloriously wonderful (even if it is a well observed) weekend.

FRIDAY FRIDAY

Fri Jul 08, 2005 

Well friends I'm back and its another Friday so its time to report on the happenings in the workers paradise.

I have real fears about the Felines sanity. He has begun staring off into space with a blank look in his eyes and the running into any glass surface nearby. I think he's doing what the voices tell him to do and they're screwing with him. This happens mostly at night when he's staring out the windows. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by this behavior as I think its rather obvious he's mental anyway.

I have given up hope for the Canines. They seem to have given up on anything resembling self respect or plotting against the Feline and have instead just taken to laying around and complaining especially late at night. Disturbing my sleep by their protest outside my official residence. I am about to turn loose the secret police/death squads on them if they continue this nocturnal annoyance.

The situation with the political prisoners has yet to be finalized we are waiting on transportation to the gulags and we will be updating you in the near future on any movements in that area.

Other than the oppressive heat not much to report I think the heat has a lot to do with the Canines disposition. As they seem to get lethargic with the heat. Either way its less for me to worry about as the Beloved leader/Dictator for life anything that keeps the masses quiet is a good thing.

Well I will finish up for this report with the usual of its quiet and we intend on keeping it that way. I am considering following the British lead and installing security cameras in every conceivable place....just to keep things safe and live up to our national motto " We know what your doing " (and you should be ashamed). See you all next week.

Another Friday has pounced upon us

Fri Jul 01, 2005

First off let me say (incase anyone actually noticed) yes there were two weeks without a Friday update. Even a benevolent leader/dictator for life takes time off now and again. So deal with it.

It seems all I have to do is take some time off for things to pick up around here since there was an attempted escape last week along with the usual hijinks.

The feline has begun attacks on the waste management supplies stored near his facility. We are considering options for resolving this issue among the top ranking options right now is boiling in oil.(I'm feeling a little nostalgia for the good old days.)but I suspect we will just increase security at the site. The secret police/death squads need something to keep them occupied.

The Canines it seems have decided to continue the campaign to totally ignore the Feline. In all honesty I didn't really expect a plan of such elegance and simplicity with such a deep understanding of Feline Psychology and motivational issues from the Canines. As the Canines are a rather dull lot without much imagination I am surprised they actually found a way to really torment the Feline in this manner.

As anyone who really understands the devious mind of a Feline will be able to tell you felines really don't deal well with being ignored especially if they are trying to make their presence known. This seems to be working for the Canines and we will have to see if the Feline will be able to counter this tactic in the future.

The big news of this update is the escape attempt. Well it would appear the Canines had found a weakness in the security fences and rather than exploit those weaknesses themselves they simply pointed them out to the Feline. Well of course the Feline decides to use this good fortune and promptly ran for it. The Feline not being aware of our defense in depth policy here in the workers paradise was ill-equipped to deal with the realities outside the safety of the security zone. The reports from witnesses all agree to the Felines total shock and fear of whatever it was he encountered during this excursion. Security personnel were called in to rescue the Feline and return him to the security zone.

The second part to this story is how the Canines who were quite busy celebrating the Felines predicament became confused and in their celebratory cavorting found themselves outside the security zone as it had been opened for the security personnel to rescue the Feline. The security forces were again called upon to escort more residents back into the secure "green" zone.

It seems security was given a little workout last week but they seemed up to the task at hand. Either way things are back to normal and that's a good thing.

Well I think that about wraps up this weeks update. Remember "an observed society is a well behaved society" for the most part that is. Till next time this is the Beloved leader/dictator for life saying.......... "I know what your doing ....and you should be ashamed."

Yea its Friday...

Fri Jun 03, 2005 

In case you haven't noticed its rather difficult to develop any enthusiasm for the last few Friday reports. Things have settled into a routine without much change and that's never really exciting to report.

Aside from one attack by the Feline on the aquatic habitat there is really nothing to report. This attack caused some minor damage and I suspect it frightened the Feline much more than he expected.

The Canines have settled into the summer doldrums early this year it seems. As they have completely stopped any actions against the Feline and seem to be just laying around with nothing better to do than stare at him now and again.

All in all this makes for a very slow time in the workers paradise. Leading to the question ..Should I liven things up or should I just let well enough alone for now. being the benevolent leader has its advantages but sometimes the peace and quiet is a good thing. Besides all this peace and quiet means they're not out acting out on their plots against me. If they keep plotting but never acting out that's fine with me. As long as they pretend to be happy little citizens I can pretend to care for their wants.

Well to wrap things up all is quiet and nothing to report. But always remember......When its quiet its just that much easier for the mic's to pick up what your saying. So please speak clearly the secret police/death squad personnel will appreciate the gesture.

RIP Steve Jobs

It is a sad day in the tech world and the world at large today. I just saw the news Steve Jobs has passed away. Unless you have been living under a rock or in a cave somewhere it is nearly impossible to not have been affected by Steve Jobs and the company He helped found and run. Anyone who knows me knows I am in no way a fan of the Apple company or their products or way of doing business. None the less I do understand the impact Steve Jobs and Apple has had on the world.

I have a great respect for anyone who looks around and says "there's got to be a better way" and then goes out and makes one. Whether you liked Him or didn't like Him Steve Jobs was that kind of person. Driven to find a better way to do things and bringing that better way to the world. Truth be told without Steve Jobs and the Apple company you might not even be reading this message today.

Granted I did not always like the way Apple did things, I would much rather focus on the things I liked about Apple and Steve Jobs. The leadership, the innovation bringing ideas to the rest of us. Those were all things Steve Jobs and Apple did well. Allowing ideas to advance and spurring on innovation were hallmarks of both the Man and the company. Even when I would disagree with some of the methods I could always admire the can do attitude and forward thinking that went into the advances Steve Jobs and Apple were responsible for.

It is  sad day indeed, the day we lost one of the worlds great forward thinkers and role models for countless people that followed. When you use almost any computer when you listen to MP3's on almost any type of player when you use your cell phone you are benefiting in some small way from the work Steve Jobs dedicated his life to. Even if you never use an Apple product there is very little in our modern world that did not benefit or be impacted by the work Steve Jobs and Apple did.

When I think back I can only remember owning one Apple product, I am about as non-Apple as you can get and yet I realize the great contribution Steve Jobs and the Apple company have made to our society and the world in general. I just wanted to pause and reflect on the loss of Steve Jobs today and pay tribute to a great person who directed the world into the future and has now left us to carry on.

So thank you Steve Jobs and may you rest in peace.