FRIDAY...its not just for breakfast anymore

Fri Jul 22, 2005 

Well friends it seems to be Friday again. Time for a quick update on the happenings in the workers paradise although I'm thinking of renaming it to the non-workers paradise as the majority of the residents here seem to feel that's what it is. Both the Canine and Feline population are lazy self absorbed and completely useless.

The Canines are continuing for the most part the ignore the Feline policy and are having mixed results. There have been several minor altercations between the Canines and the Feline in the last few days. Although the Canines do seem to be taking a great interest in the Mini-Canine that moved in next door and many meetings are taking place along the fenced border. Security has been upgraded and there have been no border crossings as of yet.

The Feline I'm afraid is totally insane and therefore mostly hopeless. There seems to be one small glimmer of hope in that he does recognize the squirt gun of you have pissed me off for the last time today so perhaps there is a little hope for him still. The problem is he doesn't remember it till you point it at him so its not really a good deterrent yet. As the Feline has begun to show some interest in his prior bad acts and started trying to chew cables again I am seriously considering upgrading the security status to the Paintball gun of I really mean it....DAMMIT. But we will have to see this could just be a phase he going thru.

There have been talks of acquiring some nonlethal forms of ...umm...communications shall we say? The Taser of mental health has been considered as a possible therapeutic tool to combat the Felines mental instability. We are exploring many options and this is one, another less costly option the car battery of shock and awe is also being considered. Although it is less portable it does have some advantages to consider.

Either way I'm sure I will keep you informed of any decisions made in that area as they become available.

On another note. One of the political prisoners has been moved to the infirmary and I wanted to take this opportunity to emphatically deny that it was due to any mistreatment by the current staff of the holding facility. This prisoner is being held for observation due to what is suspected to be a congenital defect and there are no other status updates available in his case. But the rumors of abuse by the facility personnel are totally untrue and should be disregarded.

Well I think that's about all I have to say today except to remind you......Please remember in your day to day conversations to always speak clearly and directly into the hidden mic's if your not sure where those microphones are just speak loudly and they will be sure to pick you up. The monitoring staff would like to thank you for your cooperation. While they assure me they report everything I suspect they have some favorites that tend to make their job easier and they will sometimes I suspect turn a blind eye to things as repayment. So you never know if you help them they MAY help you. Not that I have any official knowledge of this.....but graft and gratuity does make the world go round.